I got a whole slew of emails this week from my long-lost brother, Chris the mad scientist. And I quote:
”I'm not sure how this works out for sisters, but for elders the general guidance is: the harder you work and the more you suffer on your mission, the hotter your wife will be. I don't think God is sexist, so I think it is pretty safe to assume that you can replace "wife" with "spouse" and have a saying that suits all comers. Just remember, you only have a few weeks left to work up in the marrying world - if you squander them, you will be stuck for all eternity with a sub-optimal specimen. We wouldn't want that to happen now, would we?”
So I guess that means the other day when that lady told us she wasn’ t interested and to get off her property, and our baptism got postponed and the family didn’t show up at church, and our investigator had 31 pairs of shoes fall on his head from a broken shelf at Payless (thereby spraining his neck), not to mention Mom broke her pelvis thanks to someone who decided to randomly spray some slippery oil on the road, that means that “somewhere your future husband is building his pecs, or perfecting his tan, or something like that. My goodness, this is WHY you would want to serve a mission! Don't mock me on this - it worked for me. I worked hard in Brazil, and in every picture Lisa sent she was hotter. When I got sick (typhoid, or yellow fever, or some crazy food poisoning, depending on who you ask) and was throwing up and had diarrhea for an entire week, I could feel her getting hotter the whole time. I tried to go tracting a few times, but I just couldn't manage it, and maybe that's a good thing. Lisa's already much better-looking than me. Had I managed to work while that sick she may have become a Miss America Supermodel, and I imagine there would be a lot of pressure being married to someone so hot.”
Really, it was a great week, I just like to exaggerate things so I can add up the “husband points.”
By the way, Chris, you are doing a very good job of redeeming yourself and working your way up to an OLWK award. Maybe not first prize, but definitely a runner-up. Thanks for the emails. Feel free to keep it up if you wish. Even if you still have absolutely nothing to write about. Write about anything! ANYTHING! Boogers. The Easter bunny. Gravel. Asbestos. Pencils. Cucumbers. There’s a few suggestions to start with. (Brian, take notes.)
On Sunday Bishop Zeiner approached us and asked us to teach all the lessons to a 12-year-old this week before his baptism next Sunday. His whole family has been attending church and meeting with missionaries on and off for about 8 years, so he knows it all and has a great testimony, but his parents wouldn’t let him get baptized and they weren’t progressing so we dropped the family back in April. But for whatever reason, they have decided to let him get baptized and he wants Brother Jones to baptize him before the Jones family moves away next week. So, here we are. Baptism on speed dial. We’re so excited!!!!!! It’s truly a miracle that they have decided to let him get baptized. Now, the next miracle will be to baptize the rest of the family, including the parents.
Well, due to the endless battling with the Trunky Monster all night long (I think I wrestled him in my sleep), I have no energy left to write anything more. Until next time,
Kaelynn
P.S. Word on the street is that Sister Thomas’s mom met President Monson at a party somewhere this week and told him that we are serving together as Thomas/Monson, and he got a kick out of it. I knew he would! Mean old President Pehrson wouldn’t let us send him a letter. L
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